Eph. 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
It all has to go if you want to live life pleasing to the Lord. It has to go if you want to be found to be righteous in God's eyes and make it to heaven when you die. Your attitude must no longer be evidence of sin in your heart. You must get rid of all those things which tear down. You must rid yourself of all that destroy not only others, but your soul as well.
Instead of evidence of sin in your heart, you must show Christ in your heart. You must show by the way you treat others that Christ has changed you. A child of God simply cannot treat others in a destructive manner. We must be loving and encouraging. We must build others up and show them much grace. We must not harbor ill feelings towards others, but instead strive to love one another just as Christ loves us.
We must treat others as Christ treated us. He forgave us of much sin. He does not hold our sins against us. He no longer deals with our past sins because they are no more as far as He is concerned. We need to be the same way towards one another. We need to forgive those who have wronged or hurt us. We need to not hold those things against them. We need to bury those things in the past where they can no longer affect our relationships. Only in Christ can we do it.
A child of God becomes like Christ in love. He loves and acts graciously towards others. He does not let what has been forgiven be a factor in the present. He strives always to embrace those of the faith and live at peace with others. Getting even is a long forgotten agenda. He strives to always embrace everyone in godly love.