Monday, June 13, 2011

Chaity: Fantasies

In our sex-crazed world, it is impossible to live amongst people without thinking about them. There are everywhere we go and in order to avoid them we would have to be either dead or totally isolated from them. Assuming we are not dead, we still can’t escape our thoughts. Because we are constantly exposed to sexual content and our most basic human drive is sex, we have a problem that won’t go away. We are naturally attracted to people of the opposite sex. Whether we are at home, work, or play, we see people whom we are attracted to.

While this is normal and should not alarm us, dwelling too much on people we are not married to should. It is not healthy for any marriage to dwell on someone that is not your spouse and begin to fantasize what it might be like to be with them for a few stolen minutes. Whether it be on the job, in your social circles, on the internet, watching the movies, or even at church, if you find yourself focusing on someone who is not your spouse, it is a warning sign that you may be heading for moral failure.

When it begins to happen, you must take the bull by the horn and put a stop to it before it takes root in your mind and destroys the life you share with your spouse. Your spouse should be the object of your affections, not someone in your fantasy world.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Chasity: Fixation

One of the warning signs that you may be heading for moral failure in your marriage is a fixation on the attractiveness of others other than your spouse.  Let's be honest with ourselves.  It is so easy to take for granted our spouse and lose sight of his/her good qualities.  We are prone to see the flaws in our spouse and see through rose-colored glasses others.  In public most of us put our best foot forward and at home let our hair hang down.  We fix our eyes and thoughts on the best of others, forgetting that behind the best is the worst of who they are.  We forget that most people cover up how they really are.  We see our spouses without the make-up, fancy clothes, unshaven faces, colognes and perfumes.  We see others in a positive light and ignore the fact that when the light is turned off, they are usually totally different.

Fixating on the appearance of others intrigues us and causes us to think that what we see is better than what we have.  We begin to imagine how green the grass is on the other side of the fence.  When things are tense at home, there is an increased tendency to look.  If left unchecked, it can lead us into not only the temptation, but the sin. 

We cannot avoid looking at others, but we can control how much we look and dwell on them.  If you find yourself fixing your gaze a lot on others (TV, movies, internet, magazines, books, all count), be aware that you are wandering away from your spouse.  You are weakening your love relationship with him/her and jeopardizing your ability to stay true to marriage vows of fidelity and love.