Prov. 26:20 Fire goes out for lack of fuel, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.
In order to keep a fire going, you have to keep feeding it. In order to keep an argument going, you have to keep feeding it. Quarrels are unavoidable. We have different opinions on a lot of things. We want our opinions to be heard and understood. We want to convince others that we are right and they are wrong. We dig in our heels and refuse to back down. When no one gives ground, quarrels break down relationships. We allow our disagreements to keep us from getting along with others. We find ways to justify our position the longer the quarrel goes. We develop “reasons” why we are right and others are wrong. We refuse to budge because we let it become an image issue. Whether we are right or wrong doesn’t matter. Pride makes us right in our own eyes.
The only way we can keep from allowing relationships from being broken is to see the bigger picture. When we are at odds with each other, we cannot be right with God. When we let quarrels keep us from acting in a loving way towards another, we are stopping the flow of God’s love through us to another. We are keeping the good that could happen between us and others from happening. It is going against God’s will for us and it is sin.
When we find ourselves arguing with others, we need to humble ourselves and back off. We need to understand that severed relationships are never good. We need to stop the arguing and strive to live peacefully with others. We need to apologize where it is needed and move on. You may never agree with the other person on their stand, but that is not the issue. You can agree to disagree agreeably. You can set aside your differences and let the Lord help you to love each other.
If you are at odds with someone and it has broken your fellowship, don’t let your pride stand in the way of your reaching out and seeking reconciliation. Extend the hand of loving fellowship. Do the right thing before God and he will give you peace. Don’t add fuel to the fire, let it die out. You will be glad you did.