Pray for us.

Heb. 13:18 Pray for us, for our conscience is clear and we want to live honorably in everything we do.

This should be the desire of every believer’s heart, to be prayed for so that he can live honorably in everything he does. Let’s face it, we need prayer. No one can live successfully in Christ without prayer. We need to pray for ourselves and we need the prayers of the body of Christ. The more prayer support we have, the more successful we will be. It baffles me how we think we can live in Christ without it. We don’t’ pray often enough for ourselves or others. Prayer is considered an optional part of our spiritual lives. We fail to grasp the importance of prayer.

Who do most of the praying? Those who don’t know Christ as the personal Savior. Think about it, the Muslims pray, the Buddhists pray, those caught up in cults pray, Hindus pray, just about everybody who believes in some kind of a god prays. Yet, we who claim to know God, fail to pray. Isn’t it ironic? I wonder what the Lord thinks of us?

Who do we let do most of our praying for us? Is it not our pastors, spiritual leaders, and friends? We somehow have gotten the idea that if we join in on the prayers offered during church services that it is enough to satisfy our needs. We can never learn how to pray for ourselves except by doing it for ourselves. We will never let God know we care about him unless we actually pray.

When we pray, we are talking things over with God. It is an act of worship and it shows respect for God. It is showing God we are grateful for the privilege of approaching him. Prayer is our connecting point with God. So, why aren’t we praying? Don’t we have a sense of our need to be in the presence of God? I suspect that one of the reasons why we have a hard time really sensing God’s presence in worship is that we are not connecting with God daily in our lives.

The only way we are going to effectively live with clear consciences is to stay in touch with our Father. I need your prayers and you need mine.

“Lord, I ask that all who read this devotional today will have a pure heart before you. I ask, Lord, that you will speak to their hearts right now about any sinful thoughts or deeds they may have. Lord, purify them so that they will know the peace of a pure heart. Forgive them of their sins so that they can face today with a clear conscience. Lord, help each one to live a life of honor before you today in all they do. May others see Jesus clearly in and through them. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Flirting and liking it

     One of the ways to know that you are heading down the road to moral failure is when you find yourself flirting with someone and feeling good about it.  Almost all of us like it when others respond positively to our flirtations.  When you start to look forward to flirting, especially with specific people, beware.  It's a slippery road and can quickly tempt us to move beyond flirting to taking action.
     You are most vulnerable to flirtatious activity when things are not "exciting" at home.  When you are not getting the attention you want or need, you will be more likely to enjoy fliriting with someone other than your spouse.  It may start out innocently, but it can quickly and easily go farther than you intend it to.
      One of the ways you can protect yourself from potential moral failure is to flirt with your spouse instead of someone else.  The grass is never greener on the other side of the fence.  If we were to put as much energy and time into flirting with our spouse as we do with others, we would go a long ways toward saving our marriages.
       Failure to keep on flirting with your spouse is one of the big reasons why so many of our marriages fail.
     
      

Too Friendly

      If you are honest with yourself, you probably have been in situations where you have been too friendly with someone of the opposite sex.  It could be a co-worker, neighbor, someone in your social circle, a family member, or maybe someone at church.  Someone pays attention to you and you like it.  Perhaps you are in a vulnerable period of your life when things aren't going too well at home.  You are made to feel like you matter, that you are special, a somebody.  Without even realizing what you are doing, you respond in a flirtatious way. 
       When this begins to happen, you must take responsibility for your behavior and understand that if you don't put the brakes on and stop it, you will likely fall into moral failure.  We are wired for specialness.  We want to be treated with interest.  We want someone to want us.  We like the feeling that comes with being paid attention too.  It is normal.
      The best way to keep the fires burning at home is to make your spouse your best friend.  Light banner and playfulness at home will go a long ways towards keeping your marriage fresh and fun so you won't fall prey to the temptations out of it.

Chaity: Fantasies

In our sex-crazed world, it is impossible to live amongst people without thinking about them. There are everywhere we go and in order to avoid them we would have to be either dead or totally isolated from them. Assuming we are not dead, we still can’t escape our thoughts. Because we are constantly exposed to sexual content and our most basic human drive is sex, we have a problem that won’t go away. We are naturally attracted to people of the opposite sex. Whether we are at home, work, or play, we see people whom we are attracted to.

While this is normal and should not alarm us, dwelling too much on people we are not married to should. It is not healthy for any marriage to dwell on someone that is not your spouse and begin to fantasize what it might be like to be with them for a few stolen minutes. Whether it be on the job, in your social circles, on the internet, watching the movies, or even at church, if you find yourself focusing on someone who is not your spouse, it is a warning sign that you may be heading for moral failure.

When it begins to happen, you must take the bull by the horn and put a stop to it before it takes root in your mind and destroys the life you share with your spouse. Your spouse should be the object of your affections, not someone in your fantasy world.

Chasity: Fixation

One of the warning signs that you may be heading for moral failure in your marriage is a fixation on the attractiveness of others other than your spouse.  Let's be honest with ourselves.  It is so easy to take for granted our spouse and lose sight of his/her good qualities.  We are prone to see the flaws in our spouse and see through rose-colored glasses others.  In public most of us put our best foot forward and at home let our hair hang down.  We fix our eyes and thoughts on the best of others, forgetting that behind the best is the worst of who they are.  We forget that most people cover up how they really are.  We see our spouses without the make-up, fancy clothes, unshaven faces, colognes and perfumes.  We see others in a positive light and ignore the fact that when the light is turned off, they are usually totally different.

Fixating on the appearance of others intrigues us and causes us to think that what we see is better than what we have.  We begin to imagine how green the grass is on the other side of the fence.  When things are tense at home, there is an increased tendency to look.  If left unchecked, it can lead us into not only the temptation, but the sin. 

We cannot avoid looking at others, but we can control how much we look and dwell on them.  If you find yourself fixing your gaze a lot on others (TV, movies, internet, magazines, books, all count), be aware that you are wandering away from your spouse.  You are weakening your love relationship with him/her and jeopardizing your ability to stay true to marriage vows of fidelity and love.

Chasity

     In my book, I have included a chapter on chasity, which is another word for purity in the marital relationship.  There are many ways to tell if you or your spouse are loosing grip on purity in your marriage, which if left unchecked will ultimately lead to infidelity and probably divorce.  I list 27 different warning signs to look out for to determine if you or your spouse are beginning to let down your guard.  I will be focusing on these warning signs in future blogs so you can do a gut check to determine how you are doing.
      I believe that heart and mind purity is something that everyone should strive for in marriage.  While I understand that it is impossible to be perfectly pure, we can certainly do a lot to help ourselves and our marriages in this area.  It is not okay to open ourselves up to all kinds of temptations to stray away from the love of one's spouse.  Keeping ourselves loyal to our spouse in marriage takes a determined plan and consistent work over a lifetime.  It is a battle many are losing, but it is a winnable battle. 
       As a Christian, I know that we can do all things through Christ who gives us the strength.  The Lord will help us, but we must want his help and allow him to do it.

The Covenant of Marriage

     The more that I observe marriages and the struggles couples are having, the more convinced I am that the heart of the problem is the attitude most people have when they enter into marriage.  Missing in most couples is the concept of marriage being a covenant relationship.  When a couple is married in a church or in a setting where a minister of the Gospel officiates, the ceremony is more than a legal ceremony to make the union where a man and woman can live together in an acceptable way in society.  It is a spiritual ceremony as well where commitments are made before God and man to live in the marital state until death separates then.
      While more and more couples are opting out of the marriage ceremony, or are by-passing the involvement of the church, there still is great value in taking vows made before God and man seriously.  If a couple is not committed to keeping their vows when they are spoken, then they need to rethink getting married. 
       There needs to be much greater importance put on marriage as a sacred institution than is generally done.  Pastors would do a couple much greater service if they were to stress the covenant aspect of a marriage while helping a couple prepare for marriage.  And they would do the people under their care a huge favor if they were to reinforce the covenant aspect of marriage on a regular basis in their ministries.
        The problem with marriage will continue to grow until we get back to the basics and see marriage as God sees it.  We have to stop looking through the lens of our culture and starting looking through the lens of God's Word if we are going to stem the tide of struggling marriages and divorces.
         No marriage is beyond help if a couple starts it off right and seeks help before it is too late.