Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Chasity: Fixation

One of the warning signs that you may be heading for moral failure in your marriage is a fixation on the attractiveness of others other than your spouse.  Let's be honest with ourselves.  It is so easy to take for granted our spouse and lose sight of his/her good qualities.  We are prone to see the flaws in our spouse and see through rose-colored glasses others.  In public most of us put our best foot forward and at home let our hair hang down.  We fix our eyes and thoughts on the best of others, forgetting that behind the best is the worst of who they are.  We forget that most people cover up how they really are.  We see our spouses without the make-up, fancy clothes, unshaven faces, colognes and perfumes.  We see others in a positive light and ignore the fact that when the light is turned off, they are usually totally different.

Fixating on the appearance of others intrigues us and causes us to think that what we see is better than what we have.  We begin to imagine how green the grass is on the other side of the fence.  When things are tense at home, there is an increased tendency to look.  If left unchecked, it can lead us into not only the temptation, but the sin. 

We cannot avoid looking at others, but we can control how much we look and dwell on them.  If you find yourself fixing your gaze a lot on others (TV, movies, internet, magazines, books, all count), be aware that you are wandering away from your spouse.  You are weakening your love relationship with him/her and jeopardizing your ability to stay true to marriage vows of fidelity and love.

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