Col. 2:19 But they are not connected to Christ, the head of the body. For we are joined together in his body by his strong sinews, and we grow only as we get our nourishment and strength from God.
Those who are living life without being connected to Christ are lost and bound for hell. Those who are living in Christ show it by how they live. We cannot be connected to Christ without showing His nature. We become like Him, holy and righteous before God.
If we are living in Christ, we are being properly nourished and we grow in godliness and spiritual strength. If we are weak and anemic, it's simply because we have blocked the path of God's nourishment for our souls. We cannot be open and receptive to God and His Word without growing and becoming more like Him.
If anyone is struggling to grow, he is not properly connected to Christ. A healthy soul is constantly changing and becoming more like Christ throughout his life. If no change ever happens, then the soul is not connected to Christ, regardless of words once spoken. Jesus in us naturally makes us different than we once were. The progression of the process of change varies with each of us, but all who know Christ do change.